Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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