I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize