Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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