I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
