I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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