Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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