You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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