i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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