He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Randomize
