good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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