if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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