I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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