Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
