At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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