nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize