I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
