White coat. Heels.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
