you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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