Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
