my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize