South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
