Sry I called you an 8
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
