He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
