I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
