Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize