Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
