Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
