What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
