I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
