Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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