tell your sister to shave her snatch
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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