Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
