real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize