Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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