i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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