so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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