well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
