We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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