I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This baby is an asshole
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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