Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Let's get the cat blown out
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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