she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
