I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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