I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How does one acquire holy water?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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