why didn't you poke me back
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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