just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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