I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
