Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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