Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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