went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
