This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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