Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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