Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
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Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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