you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
a search helicopter?!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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