Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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