So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This baby is an asshole
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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