I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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